Online, This Day and Age
Recently, in the span of 8 hours, I stumbled across 3 separate essays welcoming the demise of social media, which I was going to link to here, but then in my efforts to track them down, I came across even more. And even more of these sentiments are simply sprinkled in the mix of other essays, just little notes commenting on how empty and frustrating life on social media has become. (Including me!)
Which all is to say - this gives me both hope and motivation. Hope that the world writ large is shifting away from apps owned by oligarchs and into other ways of connecting. And knowing there is more movement behind this gives me motivation to pull back even more myself. Even the things I’ve gravitated towards in an attempt to “replace” mindless scrolling has been, in its own way, more of the same. I’ll stay on my high horse and say reading a long-form essay on Substack that takes 10-15 minutes to consume is probably doing better things for my dopamine-riddled brain than a 20-second Reel, but I’m still beholden to the algorithm. Substack has its own problems.
Nothing but a moment from this year
Generally speaking, I’m probably a middle amount of “online”. I’ve never been on all the platforms, I’m old enough that I have no desire to learn or understand TikTok, and I’m definitely no super user of any such app. My initial resistance began all the way back in 2016, when I finally stopped telling myself that I was still getting value from Facebook. I ostensibly was, as social gatherings were still planned via Events at that time, and I knew some people would not take the time to shoot me a special text to extend an invite. I’d miss out. I was cultivating a few groups of friends at the time however, and those closest to me absolutely would make an effort to include me. Beyond that, I’d have to put in a little more effort, but it would be worth it. I started a Slack group for some folks in the area, and while that mostlyflopped, a small contingent of us would chat and plan get-togethers for years to come (and still do, though now on Discord). Back then, every time I clicked on Facebook, I’d find myself scrolling past pages and pages of things I just….didn’t care about. It was a constant algorithmic promotion of shit that did not bring me any value, and yet I’d scroll. I felt like my brain was leaking out of my ears. So, despite some amount of value I could still glean from the website, I deleted it and never looked back. I’ve never, not once, regretted it.
I did, however, look to Instagram. It was also already owned by Facebook at that time, but I just followed a small group of friends and photographers, my feed was chronological, and I didn’t see anything that I didn’t choose to see. There weren’t even ads yet. The next five years were my personal Golden Age of social media. I found it motivating to share photographs, which prompted me to seek out photo projects and flex my artistic prowess. I don’t think I would have done 1/20th of what I’ve done with photography if it weren’t for Instagram. I found photography classes through the app, I sought out inspiration, and maybe most importantly of all, I could share what I’d done and receive satisfying feedback (or lack there of) in the form of a “like”. I connected with folks I hadn’t seen in years, exchanging words and photos and sharing little bits of ourselves in a way that felt very valuable. Personally, I didn’t really get paid gigs directly from Instagram (word of mouth has actually worked better there, thanks to my wonderful friends) but I know many other photographers who have, and I really feel for their challenges when their career has been built on a social media platform. But it’s differently now, in 2024. I barely log on - I feel like my brain is leaking out of my ears again - but I can’t get myself to delete it. I’m not getting value from it any more, but I’m still hanging on to what it used to be.
One beautiful sunrises of many, in a full year
And other things I may have shared
This website, here and now, is supposed to replace social media posting for me. I get to control how my content appears and where it is hosted. I don’t really get feedback, though. There is limited connection - it’s just me spewing content out into the world wide web and hoping someone, somewhere sees it (they won’t, unless I advertise it on, oh, say, Instagram). The motivation is, shall we say, dwindling. I am enjoying writing, even if it’s just more of a personal journal, but my photography projects have lessened in the last few years and I’m sure that’s no coincidence. Creating is fun, but the photographs just sit there, on my computer, never to be seen. Or on this website, never to be seen. Art (good, bad, or otherwise) wants to be shared. For me, this is a bold thing to acknowledge, because in many ways, I don’t really want to be perceived broadly. I’m too shy for that. I like my little group and I’ve never wanted my content to be visible beyond folks I have actually met in real life. Maybe I’m just old school like that. So why does creating feel empty to me right now? Shouldn’t working in my little silo be enough?
The cynic in me says that I crave validation from a larger group. Two friends saying “Hey I liked that blog post you wrote” is very kind, but getting 50 likes from people I haven’t seen in 10 years comes with more oomph (and that’s a problem!). Or perhaps it’s a little more wholesome, and I’m just really missing the extra connection. After all, it is very human to want to connect with folks. Does swapping a few likes back and forth count, though? I’ve made great strides in connecting more offline, and that has been valuable, but that doesn’t exactly work with photography. It’s a visual medium. (As if photographers didn’t exist before social media).
Friends, In Real Life
I’m doing my best to grow out of that mind set. Maybe we find better ways to connect, because the inevitable decline of monetized social media platforms is too mind-numbing. We’ve destroyed our attention spans, lost sight of what connection really means, and re-inforced an insatiable need for external validation. I can pretend I’ve always been a bit above that! After I ran my first marathon, I didn’t post anything. Many of my other races have also slid under the radar. My little subset of Instagram followers don’t even know I ran 50 miles earlier this month. And, you know, that was hard (maybe more on that later?)! But I’m on Strava, the athlete’s social media, and even though I took a hiatus this fall, I’m back. It’s under the guise of connection but deep down I feel like my efforts have more value if people know what I’m doing. So I’m not above it after all.
In the New Year it’s always tempting to make big promises to myself for how I’ll “be better” next year. And I’ve got a laundry list of things I want to do! The point is not to execute perfectly, or to even necessarily succeed in anything great, but to enjoy the process. Part of this is the continued effort to be intentional about my presence online. That’s easier here than on any other platform, even if few people see it. Photography and journaling is great for self reflection, and that is what my motivation behind creating this site has always been. Strava can be a tool for that too, so if it’s serving me there, then I’ll stick around. Not all social media is bad in all forms, but we need to consciously step back, and often, to acknowledge that WE are in control
Because we ARE. And more folks are starting to see it.